Amazingly enough, I am still dealing with the same men.
"Lemme See" and "Lazy Love" and Mr____
Each have their role in my life, each has an important role too.
Mr____ is my children's father.
He is not my friend
He is not someone I can go to for conversation
He is someone I will love forever but I will never be in love with again
He is my past
Lemme See is...my friend.
My very annoying friend
My former lover that always wants me to come home to him
My fall back person that I don't want to fall back to
My past lover and present friend
Lazy Love is mine.
I didn't know that would happen
I didn't expect that to happen
I am still surprised that it happened
For now...he is my future
Everything happens for a reason
Changes happen
Good or Bad
Whatever comes was meant to come
Enjoy today and don't worry about tomorrow
Six months ago I sent Lazy Love a text
I told him I had an idea
What is it?
This summer we should fall in love...with each other.
Really?
Yes, we should. We are both too cynical of the opposite sex.
True...
I think that if we spend time together, with the express intention of loving each other,
we will discover that it is easy to love someone else and we can stop being so negative.
Hmmmm...
So that's what I think.
Ok, we can fall in love...with each other.
Really?
Yep.
And from then on it began...very small things, short conversations, random texts, reminders about our plan.
When I arrived at his home (finally) I told him he was not allowed to have any other female visitors.
Why not?
Because we are falling in love with each other sir...
And?
If she isn't family then she is pussy and she does not need to be in the middle of progress...
Damn. Ok.
Thank you.
Typical of him, he spoiled me.
In return, I spoiled him.
Then summer ended.
And I left.
Without saying good bye.
I thought it was over.
We did what we were supposed to do, right?
See if we could fall in love with each other.
I didn't realize that we had...
Thursday, October 31, 2013
I thought about you
today…
I thought about you today, it made me smile
I saw you in your truck
Smiling
Grimacing
Talking
Explaining
Sweating
Questioning
Wishing
Wanting
Dreaming
You as you, who you are
I thought about you today, it made me smile
I saw you on your couch
Laughing
Playing
Sleeping
Drinking
Thinking
Eating
Wishing
Wanting
Dreaming
You being you, doing what you do
I thought about you today, it made me smile
I saw you in your bed
Touching me
Feeling me
Smiling at me
I miss you…
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Going through a divorce...
I do believe that going through a divorce is worse than a frickin breakup because at least with a breakup you have two folks who kinda maybe don't know that they might still want to be together and kinda still don't want to be together but whatthefuckever lets be done with this shit. And then they have break up sex.
Divorce is different in my case, cause I know damn well I don't want that nigga back. Fuck him. I don't know about other couples going through a divorce, but uhmmm i'm not fucking that man with another womans pussy. So no divorce sex for me. It's just that dang, you don't realize how much you can truly truly dislike someone until this point. And nope, I have to admit, I have been an idiot for years and someone out there actually believes i'm an idiot too. Is he crazy? I'm not dumb sir, you don't believe me? Just wait, I can show you better than I can tell you.
He actually told me how he tells everyone how proud of me he is and how much i've grown over the years into a spectacular woman who he knows will get her doctorate blah blah blah. Shut up. Whatcho want??
On that note, I officially broke off my non relationship relationship with "Lemme See" at 9:22 am MST. He wanted some good bye sex, I said no. As I was typing I realized I must have lost my damn mind. I won't get dick again until July prolly, when I get home and get to see "Lazy Love" and that is a big MAYBE. Because, he might be seeing someone, and I don't fuck with folks that have somebody. Bad karma at the highest level.
So either way, I sent "Lemme See" a text at 11:12 pm MST letting him know that I am trippppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnn. I want the dick, absolutely want the dick. Bring on the dick.
My sister-in-law told me that I think like a married woman and not a single woman, I didn't know that. But that is the only way I know how to think since I'd been with Mr.____ since I was 19 (I'm 40...shhhh). But imma change that shit. Yep, bring on the dick. Hell I might meet the next Mr. Big Dick on the plane on the way to get my final bit of ass from that fucker with the awesome dick LOL.
So oh yeah, so I'm actually going through my divorce. Mr.____told me that if I change my mind then don't show up for the lawyer meeting and he will call it off. Nope, I'm going. Big girl panties and all. This town is NOT big enough for the both of us while we are still married, imma need that piece of paper so he and I can officially do what the fuck we want to do and that's that.
I'm listening to my kids do their crazy ass midnight pork n bean eating fest with the bad broken can opener right now. I SWEAR if there are dents in my cabinet I will be hurting a teenager in his sleep.
My favorite song by Usher right now is Lil Freak http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNVNzRzDt-k that is kind of how I am right now. I will probably fall asleep touching myself to this music. And the chick in the red/black pants is HOT!!! Bring on the dick...
Marie
Divorce is different in my case, cause I know damn well I don't want that nigga back. Fuck him. I don't know about other couples going through a divorce, but uhmmm i'm not fucking that man with another womans pussy. So no divorce sex for me. It's just that dang, you don't realize how much you can truly truly dislike someone until this point. And nope, I have to admit, I have been an idiot for years and someone out there actually believes i'm an idiot too. Is he crazy? I'm not dumb sir, you don't believe me? Just wait, I can show you better than I can tell you.
He actually told me how he tells everyone how proud of me he is and how much i've grown over the years into a spectacular woman who he knows will get her doctorate blah blah blah. Shut up. Whatcho want??
On that note, I officially broke off my non relationship relationship with "Lemme See" at 9:22 am MST. He wanted some good bye sex, I said no. As I was typing I realized I must have lost my damn mind. I won't get dick again until July prolly, when I get home and get to see "Lazy Love" and that is a big MAYBE. Because, he might be seeing someone, and I don't fuck with folks that have somebody. Bad karma at the highest level.
So either way, I sent "Lemme See" a text at 11:12 pm MST letting him know that I am trippppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnn. I want the dick, absolutely want the dick. Bring on the dick.
My sister-in-law told me that I think like a married woman and not a single woman, I didn't know that. But that is the only way I know how to think since I'd been with Mr.____ since I was 19 (I'm 40...shhhh). But imma change that shit. Yep, bring on the dick. Hell I might meet the next Mr. Big Dick on the plane on the way to get my final bit of ass from that fucker with the awesome dick LOL.
So oh yeah, so I'm actually going through my divorce. Mr.____told me that if I change my mind then don't show up for the lawyer meeting and he will call it off. Nope, I'm going. Big girl panties and all. This town is NOT big enough for the both of us while we are still married, imma need that piece of paper so he and I can officially do what the fuck we want to do and that's that.
I'm listening to my kids do their crazy ass midnight pork n bean eating fest with the bad broken can opener right now. I SWEAR if there are dents in my cabinet I will be hurting a teenager in his sleep.
My favorite song by Usher right now is Lil Freak http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNVNzRzDt-k that is kind of how I am right now. I will probably fall asleep touching myself to this music. And the chick in the red/black pants is HOT!!! Bring on the dick...
Marie
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