Sunday, April 26, 2015

Truth...my students are fools at times. I will be doing everything in the book and beyond to teach a lesson and then it all starts running smoothly without explanation. Five minutes into this glorious time I discover my principal in my class doing a spot observation.
I love my babies, I really do. Though my 7th graders are the reason I drink on the rare occasion that I partake in da liqa. The thing that helps keep me sane are meetings and PLC's because inevitably someone or three is going to speak about the behavior of the kids in our school and it is at those moments I know that I am not alone. That it isn't just me. But at the same time my own students have said, "It's not you Ms. it’s us." Sometimes I feel so low, like what could I do differently.
Two of my babies got into a fight on Friday (during my worst behaving period) and I broke the rules. Teachers just say stop fighting and go call code red. The whole thing was so surreal as if in slow motion. I went to call but then other students were coming into my class phones were in the air recording and the fight got nasty. I flew across the room jumping over chairs to get the boys broken apart. All I saw was two best friends coming to blows, cameras, and ignorance in a crowd. Instead of stopping it they were chanting. Is this real? What kind of society do we live in? I held one of them and talked calmly to the other one, pleading for him to let him go. He was covered in blood. I told him I had him, not to worry, I have him.

The tears were running down his bloody cheeks. When he loosened his grip on him I was so focused on his tears I loosened my grip too and the other boy twisted around and smashed his face again. It was at that moment that Mama Bear came out and I snatched that boy so fast. 

Had he lost his mind or had I lost mine. When I say I roared, I mean it. I have three sons (20, 18, and 13) and breaking up a fight is not new to me. And these are 13 yr olds, this I can do. I think I was more in shock than anything. Between them and the cameras...I have never multi-tasked at that level before. With that roar I got cameras off, all students OUT of my classroom, and those two boys apart. I don't remember the details but I know that the wild punch pissed me off more than the whole thing. 

In the end my kids were lined up outside my class, all video was deleted from students I KNEW were recording, and my voiced disapproval to the two boys in the calm silence of my emptied room was louder than anything. I had a headache. And my heart was broken because I want so much for them. I don’t even think the one that was bloodied realized they were really fighting at first.