Chocolate Chips Can Be Good For You

I don't know if y'all know this, but normally I am in a pretty upbeat mood. Even when its a bad day I'm good.
Well yesterday was a GREAT day, but by the end I got all whiny and crabby.
My Chocolate Chip took an AP position in MA and had to leave last week. So I couldn't talk about my day, hear about his, nuthin. I wanted to learn about the teachers he had to interview and hire (why, what stood out, etc.), I wanted to be told to sit my little a$$ down somewhere and quit doing too much, I wanted to point out that he has had a runny nose since September and that is just weird, but I couldn't. He's super busy now and asleep by the time I'm done with my stuff. Y'all know AP's don't get the summer off, and his transition from teacher to AP was exactly one week. No summer break really. And I can't go to MA because I'm playing Mom Taxi to my baby's hectic schedule.

So, being whiny, crabby, and totally out of character, last night I sent an "I need you home, you're too far, I need to fall asleep in your armpit" text. Welp, he gets a gold star, chin chuck, and a mini bear hug for the text I woke up too.

On this day I pledge to be more understanding of AP's roles and responsibilities, men's need for comfortable affordable shoes, and less whiny.

Carry on.

Apathetic...maybe, but I'm not sure.

Yesterday I woke up not excited about school next year. This next year will be my 3rd year of 7th grade. Every time someone finds out I'm a 7th grade teacher they say, "God bless you." I'm a little tired of hearing that. 7th graders are awesome.
Last year I was the only teacher on my team who didn't request a grade change. This year only one teacher requested a grade change, that's good for the kids and the team.
Recently, I had a Principal at one of the Early College HS's say he might pull me to his school. That school is really close to my son's new HS. Before that a Principal at my sons HS said to email her so she can pull me if they have to hire ELAR. I haven't emailed either principal because I like my kids and school, but why is it on my mind daily???
Then I realized I'm going to miss not having my baby with me everyday (that made me cry). Work won't be the same with him gone to HS.
Now...this morning I saw a picture of my 4th & 5th graders that made me miss them, as a whole (they're 700 miles away), but not as a need to teach that age. I got a little teary eyed.
I'm excited to see what the new year brings, but maybe not excited to get back to the grind. I haven't been doing this long enough (only 4 yrs)to not want to do it anymore, and I really love my work and my bad kids that need to be throat punched. But, It was so hard to wake up from Spring Break through summer school and now that it's over my eyes are popping open at 5am every morning. For what?!?! I don't do diddly. I still haven't cleaned my bedroom, school has been out for 3 weeks and summer school has been out for 1 week.
Today I'm having an emotional struggle between joining a gym for the summer or trying for the 10th month in a row to do T-25 in my living room.
This is so unlike me!
I want to say I'm apathetic, but I can't because I don't remember what it means, and I don't feel like looking it up.
I need encouragement, but I don't know why or for what.