So much going on, all the time, everywhere.

Amazingly enough, I am still dealing with the same men.
"Lemme See" and "Lazy Love" and Mr____

Each have their role in my life, each has an important role too.
Mr____ is my children's father.
He is not my friend
He is not someone I can go to for conversation
He is someone I will love forever but I will never be in love with again
He is my past

Lemme See is...my friend.
My very annoying friend
My former lover that always wants me to come home to him
My fall back person that I don't want to fall back to
My past lover and present friend

Lazy Love is mine.
I didn't know that would happen
I didn't expect that to happen
I am still surprised that it happened
For now...he is my future

Everything happens for a reason
Changes happen
Good or Bad
Whatever comes was meant to come
Enjoy today and don't worry about tomorrow

Six months ago I sent Lazy Love a text
I told him I had an idea
What is it?
This summer we should fall in love...with each other.
Really?
Yes, we should. We are both too cynical of the opposite sex.
True...
I think that if we spend time together, with the express intention of loving each other,
we will discover that it is easy to love someone else and we can stop being so negative.
Hmmmm...
So that's what I think.
Ok, we can fall in love...with each other.
Really?
Yep.

And from then on it began...very small things, short conversations, random texts, reminders about our plan.
When I arrived at his home (finally) I told him he was not allowed to have any other female visitors.
Why not?
Because we are falling in love with each other sir...
And?
If she isn't family then she is pussy and she does not need to be in the middle of progress...
Damn. Ok.
Thank you.

Typical of him, he spoiled me.
In return, I spoiled him.

 Then summer ended.
And I left.
Without saying good bye.
I thought it was over.
We did what we were supposed to do, right?
See if we could fall in love with each other.
I didn't realize that we had...

I thought about you today…

I thought about you today, it made me smile

I saw you in your truck

Smiling

Grimacing

Talking

Explaining

Sweating

Questioning

Wishing

Wanting

Dreaming

You as you, who you are

I thought about you today, it made me smile

I saw you on your couch

Laughing

Playing

Sleeping

Drinking

Thinking

Eating

Wishing

Wanting

Dreaming

You being you, doing what you do

I thought about you today, it made me smile

I saw you in your bed

Touching me

Feeling me

Smiling at me

I miss you…