Everything happens for a reason

I believe without a shadow of a doubt, that everything happens for a reason. This is not a biblical thought that I want to debate with anyone; neither the local atheist  agnostic or super bible thumper. This is not meant to look into the worst situations in the world and force me to give a legitimate reason as to why Pearl Harbor was bombed. This is just my belief and I stand by it whereas it affects me. 

Yesterday, 11/26/12 my life changed; it changed because everything happens for a reason. I had set two personal goals for November 2012; start my day on my treadmill and wear my contacts at least 3 times this month. I have met neither of these goals but I did try (i thought about them all month).

Yesterday while peering at myself in  the mirror I reached over and grabbed my mascara and proceeded to put it on. Thereby causing yet another day to go by contact-less  Contacts first, eye makeup second. Now I happen to believe that wearing mascara is one of the most feminine aspects of being a female. There is nothing more deliciously wicked than standing in front of a vanity and creating a dark alluring smoldering look with the wispy ink filled bristles of a mascara brush, even if it is only within the realms of your imagination. 
I did not realize that it had been over 3 weeks since my last rendezvous with the playful art of mascara brushing. Leaning in close to the mirror so that my warm breath played havoc with my vision as it was gently steaming the mirror in an almost teasing manner, I gingerly applied mascara to first my upper lashes. A thick swoop up into the air sealed this moment as complete. Then I softly swept the across my bottom lashes. As quick as it had began, it was over. My eye lashes were just the beginning of my many masterpieces of freedom that I would express through out the day.

But all of that is neither here nor there. What is important is that late into the evening when I should have been sleeping my eyes began to water; each yawn turning my eyes into a virtual flood gate of unleashed salty tears pushing past their barriers to come crashing down as though they were the magnificent Niagara Falls. My eyes began to burn, I could barely make it to the bathroom. Water...my eyes needed water. They needed the smooth wet warmth that could only be provided by...a wash cloth. Gently I touched the refreshingly cool yet warm washcloth against my stinging eyes and as the burning subsided, I looked over to the left side of the counter and I saw the bottle of eye make-up remover almost completely empty. I needed to use remover to get the residual ink of mascara that dares to defy logic and not completely come off with the warm wet wash cloth. I lifted the bottle towards two raised cotton balls and proceeded to pour. There was not enough. 

As I stated before everything happens for a reason and nearest I can figure is if I hadn't decided yesterday to wear mascara for the first time in three weeks I would have never remembered that I was nearly out of eye makeup remover. Therefore I would not have been able to recognize the real reason behind my lack of mascara use recently.

I needed to order some Mary Kay. So I did. 

See, everything happens for a reason.

I have heard rumors that i am a little dramatic at times LOL.

Are you kidding me? To hell with Adam...

USHER RAYMOND! 

USHER RAYMOND!

HOLD HIM AGAINST ME RIGHT NOW!!

Dis Negro...

Why on Earth has Lemme See been texting me all morning??? Dis Negro is going to be the death of me, I swear. The minute you throw up the deuces they come back full circle. And I KNOW he is at work right now, but the messages keep coming. 

He actually requested that I rename him "Sweet Dick" though he agrees that "Lemme See" is a fitting title. Nasty bastard. And yes, he does have me all tingly and wet inside...

I can't stand him. 

When I voted early the week before last...

I was very ashamed of myself. I have not watched TV in over 18 months and I let that behavior cross over into other aspects of my life; I no longer get the newspaper, or read the news online, so I am truly out of pocket. As an example of how bad it has gotten with me, I was scheduled to spend part of last weekend in the DMV and it wasn't until that Sunday when it was time to order my plane ticket that I was made aware of Hurricane Sandy! As I have called myself a Hot Ass Mess in previous postings, this is just solidifying that personal statement. So looking at the ballot and not recognizing all the different names for the school board and the different judges, many of whom were being elected to LIFETIME positions really hit home. I had to really go internal on this and set myself straight (I know that sounds silly). While not watching TV is okay to a certain extent, becoming completely disconnected from society to the point that I am only aware of what is directly affecting me and mine RIGHT NOW is beyond unacceptable. How am I truly setting an example for my children or my students; if I was teaching ms soc. studies this year I would fire my damn self.

So uhmmm yeah, this was how I felt last week after I voted, and my days are off slightly because I voted early. Right now, I'm still too busy to watch TV and I still don't know what is going on around me. But I can tell you this much, the FB page, Grown Folks Conversation - Adult Version, has my complete attention!! I am utterly addicted! To the point that I even respond to some of the posting on that crazy ass page. As I told a friend of mine, I do not need to watch TV, as long as I have this page. This is my Basketball Ho's or Atlanta House Hookers. Straight addicted I tell you. 

I also turned the big FOUR OH, last weekend. That's right, I'm 40 babeeeee! I had a little party with my colleagues, they made my night wonderful, and I didn't even get up and go to work on Sunday (cuz it was my bday thats why!!).

Any-who, I'm completely behind in all my work but I will update everyone soon on the comings and goings of my life and those who have any form of relevancy within it. With that being said, yes, Lemme See and I have had regular conversations throughout the week. But something (prolly PMS) literally made me send him a text that said, Deuces Negro!

Halloween totally exhausted me...

I swear I am so lazy, I only go outside on Halloween under duress. But after spending the day running around, which was a total disruption of my "thinking" time, my ass was actually out Trick or Treating for 2 hours with my baby. He had better remember this shit for years. As far as i'm concerned though...this should make up for never taking him to see any Disney movies.
 <insert example of duress here>Well, really I had to take him last year too, after multiple failed attempts with his older brothers. He and the middle child have a love hate somewhat love really really hate relationship so they were fighting while trick or treating. Then the oldest could not stop sucking face with his girlfriend long enough to move to the next house; so he came home upset and frustrated. There I was, stuck earning my mom badge of the week. I took him out for about an hour and in the end he totally scored,but we were in a part of our subdivision I had never been in before and didn't recognize. I also couldn't understand why it had the same name as my street (why would they do that???), so I had to turn on my phones GPS to get home. "In 1000 feet your destination will be on right." WTF...really? Who gets lost on their own damn block. I am a hot ass mess. 

Let's talk about my middle child that messed up my damn day. This mofo....shit damn fuck...that mofo. Monster 1 and Monster 2 had orthodontist appts today. I hate orthodontist appts because Monster 2 is completely non-compliant, so every damn month I have to listen to the dr tell me why it is in this boys best interests to take the braces off, yet they don't do it. I'm just like shit, damn, he's non-compliant, fuck it. I got my moneys worth, quit torturing me with this same conversation every damn month. This month they say that this boy has an infection so bad that the entire inside of his mouth is almost swollen closed, he is in intense pain, and it is imperative that they take the braces off and that he go to the dentist to get the infection taken care of immediately. Oh and his wisdom teeth are coming in and creating a problem too. Oh yes, and you are a bad mom because you didn't notice.
This boy not only put on 30lbs this summer but grew three inches, his head is big like his body as far as I can tell, and he looks like a grown ass man with all that damn facial hair. Not only that, he had Strep Throat and just finished a 10 day course of antibiotics for THAT 3 days before so this is truly, a bad ass infection. Plus, he eats everything in sight before it has the opportunity to eat him.....but they're saying his mouth hurts and he is intense pain. I can't tell, especially since he didn't say a single word about it. He's not 2 years old, he will be 16 in 2 months, is 5"11.5', weighs 190lbs, and has been talking for a long fuckin time. He sure could tell me when his throat hurt too much to eat me out of house and home. Mofo. So that takes frickin HOURS and then at 1pm they say he needs to come back at 2:30 to complete the retainer. No the fuck he doesn't. Are you kidding me???? 
Next we drop Monster 1 off at the University (OMG GO LIVE ON CAMPUS DUDE!!!) and headed to the regular dentist about the infection. They take him in immediately (love them) and he wants to act a fool. He gets angry because he is hungry and tired and sick of dentists and he missed school and blah blah blah.... Well the receptionist who has been looking at this child for 6 years is in shock at his fit. I must have been in a zone of non-attention to have not responded to this sooner. See my kids know that I am a softy at heart, a push over if you will...AT HOME. But, I have ONE really big rule: Outside of the house you had better be on your best behavior; NEVER let another adult say something to me about your behavior unless it is good. "Marie, maybe you should go to the back with him, he seems agitated, i'm not sure if he will be able to explain whats going on the the dr." Head is now out of the clouds------- you just broke my rule. 
I went to the back and he was just carrying on ridiculously. I will not repeat all the details but it started with, "Little boy have you lost your mind? I will ball up my fist and knock you in your muthafuckin jaw...........this is a result of your behavior............get it together..........don't make me get in a chair and beat your ass to the ground." Needless to say the rest of the day he was on point in all aspects of his life except.... 
His curfew is 8:30 (I gives a damn if its Halloween, curfew is curfew and it's a school night); he came in at 8:47, as I was asking where he was. When I asked why he was late, he wanted to raise up and say:
Him: Cause I was hanging out with my friends!
Me:  Who are you talking to and exactly what did you just say? 
Him: That it won't happen again, ma'am, sorry. 
Me:  Thank you, it better not, go eat.
I guess he had a moment and forgot who the fuck I am. 

Teenopause - 0
Mom - 1 

With all that being said, Thursday morning 9:30 am, we were at the damn orthodontist again. My baby had to get his initial consultation and Monster 2 is getting that retainer.....uuugggghhhhh I hate the orthodontist.

Unadulterated truth!

I mean....cause i'm the shit.
just saying