Halloween totally exhausted me...

I swear I am so lazy, I only go outside on Halloween under duress. But after spending the day running around, which was a total disruption of my "thinking" time, my ass was actually out Trick or Treating for 2 hours with my baby. He had better remember this shit for years. As far as i'm concerned though...this should make up for never taking him to see any Disney movies.
 <insert example of duress here>Well, really I had to take him last year too, after multiple failed attempts with his older brothers. He and the middle child have a love hate somewhat love really really hate relationship so they were fighting while trick or treating. Then the oldest could not stop sucking face with his girlfriend long enough to move to the next house; so he came home upset and frustrated. There I was, stuck earning my mom badge of the week. I took him out for about an hour and in the end he totally scored,but we were in a part of our subdivision I had never been in before and didn't recognize. I also couldn't understand why it had the same name as my street (why would they do that???), so I had to turn on my phones GPS to get home. "In 1000 feet your destination will be on right." WTF...really? Who gets lost on their own damn block. I am a hot ass mess. 

Let's talk about my middle child that messed up my damn day. This mofo....shit damn fuck...that mofo. Monster 1 and Monster 2 had orthodontist appts today. I hate orthodontist appts because Monster 2 is completely non-compliant, so every damn month I have to listen to the dr tell me why it is in this boys best interests to take the braces off, yet they don't do it. I'm just like shit, damn, he's non-compliant, fuck it. I got my moneys worth, quit torturing me with this same conversation every damn month. This month they say that this boy has an infection so bad that the entire inside of his mouth is almost swollen closed, he is in intense pain, and it is imperative that they take the braces off and that he go to the dentist to get the infection taken care of immediately. Oh and his wisdom teeth are coming in and creating a problem too. Oh yes, and you are a bad mom because you didn't notice.
This boy not only put on 30lbs this summer but grew three inches, his head is big like his body as far as I can tell, and he looks like a grown ass man with all that damn facial hair. Not only that, he had Strep Throat and just finished a 10 day course of antibiotics for THAT 3 days before so this is truly, a bad ass infection. Plus, he eats everything in sight before it has the opportunity to eat him.....but they're saying his mouth hurts and he is intense pain. I can't tell, especially since he didn't say a single word about it. He's not 2 years old, he will be 16 in 2 months, is 5"11.5', weighs 190lbs, and has been talking for a long fuckin time. He sure could tell me when his throat hurt too much to eat me out of house and home. Mofo. So that takes frickin HOURS and then at 1pm they say he needs to come back at 2:30 to complete the retainer. No the fuck he doesn't. Are you kidding me???? 
Next we drop Monster 1 off at the University (OMG GO LIVE ON CAMPUS DUDE!!!) and headed to the regular dentist about the infection. They take him in immediately (love them) and he wants to act a fool. He gets angry because he is hungry and tired and sick of dentists and he missed school and blah blah blah.... Well the receptionist who has been looking at this child for 6 years is in shock at his fit. I must have been in a zone of non-attention to have not responded to this sooner. See my kids know that I am a softy at heart, a push over if you will...AT HOME. But, I have ONE really big rule: Outside of the house you had better be on your best behavior; NEVER let another adult say something to me about your behavior unless it is good. "Marie, maybe you should go to the back with him, he seems agitated, i'm not sure if he will be able to explain whats going on the the dr." Head is now out of the clouds------- you just broke my rule. 
I went to the back and he was just carrying on ridiculously. I will not repeat all the details but it started with, "Little boy have you lost your mind? I will ball up my fist and knock you in your muthafuckin jaw...........this is a result of your behavior............get it together..........don't make me get in a chair and beat your ass to the ground." Needless to say the rest of the day he was on point in all aspects of his life except.... 
His curfew is 8:30 (I gives a damn if its Halloween, curfew is curfew and it's a school night); he came in at 8:47, as I was asking where he was. When I asked why he was late, he wanted to raise up and say:
Him: Cause I was hanging out with my friends!
Me:  Who are you talking to and exactly what did you just say? 
Him: That it won't happen again, ma'am, sorry. 
Me:  Thank you, it better not, go eat.
I guess he had a moment and forgot who the fuck I am. 

Teenopause - 0
Mom - 1 

With all that being said, Thursday morning 9:30 am, we were at the damn orthodontist again. My baby had to get his initial consultation and Monster 2 is getting that retainer.....uuugggghhhhh I hate the orthodontist.